#smithy is the coolest channel on afternet and you always wondered how you managed to survive without it.

(Note, this statement may be original research)

Join us!

<javachat2> To join, choose a nick and change the channel to #smithy.
  • Java Chat

Or however you like.


Main rules:

  1. be nice
  2. don't be a dick

And just because some things need spelling out to people:

The following things are NOT allowed

  • Saying !list. We have no warez, and if we did, we wouldn't let you have any! Saying !list and variants of will automatically result in a ban.
  • A/S/L - if we care about your age, location, etc, we will ask for it. This is not a dating service. Attempts by strangers to “ASL” or date people will result in a ban.
  • Spamming, flooding or other noise. Posting links to generate conversation is fine. Referral links or links from strangers is not. In any event, it is better to post a link to the content than more than 1 or 2 paragraphs so we can see the link for ourselves. Multi-line pastes from (e.g.) MSN or Facebook (please use pastebin, if this is longer than around five lines), especially if these are only relevant to one person and obstructing chat. Use your common sense to see if it is appropriate. Please also do not use repeated auto-away scripts or now playing scripts (though the emphasis is on the auto- here, saying you are away or what you are listening to is normally not a problem) or scripts with excessive numbers of non-alphanumeric characters or colour. You may be asked to remove these scripts.
  • Speaking in languages other than English. Most of the channel regulars are from English speaking countries. It is rude to have a conversation in a language which only a handful of people understand. Whilst the odd word is likely to be tolerated, please ensure the majority of what you say is in English.
  • Bot abuse. The bots are there to provide entertainment and/or useful functions (responders to URLs, google search, weather lookup). Please do not abuse these functions.
  • Hate-based stereotypes. Using any language is fine, but using words as a synonym for stupid or in an offensive manner is not. For example, using the word “gay” is OK, provided it is not used to offend others or in a derogatory manner. Again, use your common sense, if it is likely to offend another user, chances are it is not acceptable.
  • Excessive monologues especially when other discussion is going on. For example, commentaries on a TV programme only you are watching. Please use your common sense. The channel is not your Facebook status, blog or Twitter.
  • PMing users without asking in the channel first. This rule does not apply to channel regulars, e.g. those with ops, who can be trusted to gauge when this is not appropriate. It is understood that some things need to be mentioned on a one-to-one basis. Also, PMing someone with “hi” or “asl” when they are idle is not likely to get a response, nor is it anything which really should be mentioned out of the channel. If you are asked by any user in the channel to stop PMing you, then please do so, and do not PM them to ask why! This can lead to an automatic ban if you PM a bot! (Why would a bot reply to a PM anyway?)
  • Asking for access... you will be given this if we like you enough!
  • Unauthorised bots... we have plenty anyway, but we'll usually allow a bot in if you ask us first.
  • Trolling. Please do not start a discussion on something if you have no interest in the subject or it is to deliberately antagonise another user. Reasoned debate and arguing is fine, insulting other users is not.

A few notes about bans

  • The network is set to remove all bans after a week. Occasionally these may be removed sooner.
  • If you are banned from the channel you normally know why this is, since you should have been warned to stop or the message removing you from the channel will tell you this. Please do not repeat this behaviour when the ban is lifted.
  • Please do not attempt to circumvent a ban by changing your nick, host or ident. You are still banned from the channel if this is the case, and will be banned again without notice if this is spotted. Additionally, you also risk a g-line if network staff spot this, as per the network AUP. However, if you have been given access to the channel then using your access to circumvent (by invite or removal) is allowed.
  • Banning users with dynamic IP addresses is not usually tight enough. It is recommended you use the ident as well as part of the resolved address to ban. This applies especially to WebTV users - banning *!ident@webtv.*.level3.net, for example, is better than banning *!*@webtv.dialup.somenumbershere.level3.net. In general a ban with one full section of the host and the rest on wildcards is not usually watertight enough, despite this being the default in most clients (as well as with .addlamer, .ban, on X3).
  • Please do not ban yourself. It's totally daft, and will be removed when we notice!

Notes for Ops

  • Do not kick or ban without good reason to do so. If you do, you run the risk of losing your access - or of having it lowered.
  • Please attempt to give two warnings to a user before kicking or banning them. These do not have to be for the same offence, but it might be advantageous to show them the rules - if X69 is online, @rules will give a link to this page. Spammers or flooders should, however, be kicked without warning (this includes obvious knowing breaches of the rules). Rejoining does not annul any previous warnings.
  • When setting bans, kicks or lamers please include a reason why. It enables us to see what the ban is there for if it needs to be reviewed.
  • Please do not remove a ban without discussing it with the person who set it, unless you have good reason to do so, especially if the person who set it outranks you in the channel.
  • Please do not kick or ban regulars without a very good reason to do so. Kicking someone just because you have had an argument with them is not the solution to the argument.
  • Do not ban yourself. As mentioned above, it is silly, and the ban will be removed (persistent offenders may also lose their ops).
  • Please don't kick the bots - they will rejoin anyway, and trigger other bots' greetings.
  • Please don't interfere with the channel modes, they are all there for a reason (exception is +l after a netsplit which may occasionally erroneously state the channel is full). Changing the topic is fine, but please retain the link to the channel page (in other words, up to the first |). Topical subjects - especially if you know it's a regular's birthday - are usually good additions.
  • If you must ban someone on the userlist - and have GOOD reason to do so - .deluser them first.
  • If you like someone add them to the userlist. Unless you feel that they cannot be trusted with ops, all regular users should have ops. Please do not use halfop.

If anyone has a problem with an op, a kick, or a ban, please discuss it with someone outranking them in the userlist. /msg x3 #smithy users will give the full userlist, or .users in the channel. Note, this doesn't mean you'll be unbanned, if they don't agree. In all cases the channel owner has the final say.

Bot toys

Quote database

  • say !quote for a random one
  • !quote <number> for a specific quote
  • to add a quote use !addquote - e.g. !addquote <fc25> choirboy is a chav
  • to delete a quote use !dquote <number> (undelete using !undquote <number>)

IP location

!geoip ip address or hostname


@weather city, country normally works, also post codes and zip codes in (e.g. UK, USA, Canada)


@google something to google it

@google fight something something else for a google fight

more random X69 shiz













fc26 smithy|PARAMS

Cool people not covered by the above

Liv smithy|PARAMS Jobe smithy|PARAMS Beta smithy|PARAMS PearseToC smithy|PARAMS Jeni smithy|PARAMS Chris smithy|PARAMS Jack / Ginger smithy|PARAMS R0b smithy|PARAMS Undutchable smithy|PARAMS Penguinsmithy|PARAMS kentboysmithy|PARAMS BigToe smithy|PARAMS Seras smithy|PARAMS Jayare smithy|PARAMS blaat smithy|PARAMS hud smithy|PARAMS

loads more


It will be obvious who this is, so I'm not going to name it. smithy|PARAMS


clk13 (annoying chav thing) smithy|PARAMS

Bot smithy|PARAMS

Gertrude smithy|PARAMS

choirboy smithy|PARAMS

X69 smithy|PARAMS

alicia smithy|PARAMS